AV Inc.

Akon's loses his street cred!

2007-02-06T23:36:00.000-06:00

I love it how rap artist's go on and on about their street cred and how being in jails have made them tough n that they are all about hustling.

But a recent visit to India has brought singer AKON back to reality. Looks like people of Mumbai have more street cred than these so called GANGSTA's.

WELCOME TO MUMBAI Mr.Akon.
Singer Akon who performed at a concert at the Bandra-Kurla Complex as part of Channel V's 13th anniversary celebrations recently, was in for a shock when during his concert he jumped into the crowd and lost his expensive watch. According to one source, the watch was worth Rs 35 lakh (USD 3,500,000)!
Here are Before and After pics, pay attention to his left wrist:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Indian version of 12 Days of Christmas

2006-12-23T14:48:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Man Laws

2006-11-21T20:19:00.000-06:00

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b)The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push`it!
(b)C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ars and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,

- The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

2006-11-13T21:55:00.001-06:00

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

2006-11-12T18:16:00.000-06:00

People talking on their cell phones while driving their cars!!!

IMO cell phone use while driving is as bad as drunk driving! There were days when driving used to be fun and relaxing for some. But stress free driving has become impossible with people attaching a cell phone permanently to their ears while driving.
It is good to see authorities finally passing NO CELL PHONE DRIVING laws. In Illinois, Partial laws were passed which prohibit school bus drivers from using cellphones.
Seriously i have reached a no tolerence level for cell phone drivers. Next time i see a person driving horribly and talking on a cell phone, i will really be tempted to get out of my car, go up to him and forcefully end his call!!!
A good solution for people who are obsessed with using their cell phone minutes is using hands free headsets. Atleast this way your hands will be free to drive other than holding a cell phone!

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

2006-11-11T15:16:00.000-06:00

Jagshemash, the movie I watch is Borat! Do you like?

So after 4 attempts in 2 weeks to get tickets for the movie Borat, i finally got the 12:10am show tickets last nite. Last weekend every show was sold out and this week most of them were sold out. The cashier at AMC told me that if i wanted tickets for this movie, i have to be there before 1:00pm to get tickets or else its going to get sold out. CRAZY!!!!!
This movie is hilarious. I could not stop laughing.
Check this out: http://www.goyk.com/flash.asp?path=166

Current Favourites

2006-11-04T13:36:00.000-06:00

This song is addictive, is it because of the tune or because of Bipasha Basu is for u to decide :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQL4tVfnOJE

This is a song from a really good Tamil Kamal Hassan movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4F1llJqWuU

This music video just proves what all Pepsi and music artists do to make Indian cricket fans feel excited about this cricket team. And how does the team repay its fans??? by loosing in the first round of the Champions Trophy(Mini World Cup)... effing shameful:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk68L02cC-E

MUST WATCH MOVIE: LAGE RAHO MUNNA BHAI ... it's all about Mahatma Gandhi and his principles!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1gXKS-bH80

Best Dental Product Invented

2006-09-13T21:30:00.000-05:00

Monkey Brand - Black Tooth Powder.
Its an old ayurvedic toothpowder used in India. Its a black powder which helps you to make your teeth whiter! Its an Ayurvedic product, no chemicals or colors added. So u know its the best product ever which won't kill your gums and teeth!
It used to be very popular in the 80's but in the 90's I think using toothpaste got cooler. I can remember using it occasionally in the late 80's and early 90's.
Next time I go home, I am definitely going to get one.

http://www.craptastic.com/images/items/monkeybrand.jpg
http://www.toothpasteworld.com/images/big/0835b.jpg

You know what really grinds my gears?

2006-09-07T20:30:00.000-05:00

PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO FRIKKIN SLOWLY ON A CROWDED STREET!

Seriously, whats the deal with that! You live in a frikkin big city where people have shit to do. You walk slowly, u frikkin slow me down... that sets a chain of events which slows down life and BOOM... everyone is late!
Picture this: A young man is trying to get to a date or an executive is trying to get to a meeting .. and is walking to the train station. Just at that time a young couple all full of love for each other r walking hand in hand right in the middle of the frikkin pavement. U can't go in front of them from the left or from the right cuz either people r coming from the other side or some stooopid dog is walking. Now that makes the young intelligent man walk slowly, miss his 1st train and wait for the 2nd one. That means his date is already there and she is waiting. They get together and order food, but now as they r late, they have to wait for a table and then food takes more time. The executive who was goin for his meeting misses the train, is late for his meeting, client is waiting, client goes to pee, young man comes in, he thinks the client is late and in turn both are late for the meeting in each others eyes! NOW because of 2 frikkin people walking slowly, so many people are forced to slow down their life. So much time is wasted!!!

SO AMERICA!!! PLEASE DON'T FALL IN LOVE AND WALK SLOWLY! BE SMART AND GET THINGS DONE FASTER! AND REMEMBER, IF U FIND A GIRL WHO WALKS SLOWLY, GET RID OF HER AND GIMME HER NUMBER!!!!!!

Orkut

2006-09-06T00:03:00.000-05:00

Orkut is just one more way Google has become addictive.
So i just registered at Orkut.com today. Its like Friendster and Facebook, which helps me keep in touch with people in the US. Now Orkut is like HUGE in India.
Believe it or not, I think i saw profiles of people i haven't met or kept in touch with for almost 8 years.
There was this Group for my high school and OMG!!! People do look different. Though im not sure if they r who i think they are. Its crazy.

Jump In My Car

2006-08-24T19:03:00.000-05:00

2006-08-22T21:29:00.001-05:00

The world ain’t all of sunshine and rainbows,
It’s a very rough mean place,
And no matter how tough you think you are,
It will always bring you to your knees and keep you there …
Permanently … if you let it
You are nobody … Ain’t never gonna hit as hard as life.

But it ain’t about how hard you hit,
It’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward,
How much you can take, and keep moving forward,
If you know what your worth, go out and get what your worth,
But you got to be willing to take the hit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGKpHm8ty38

You know what really grinds my gears?

2006-08-18T00:13:00.000-05:00

You know what really grinds my gears?

People roaming around stark naked in the mens dressing room. Do u really have to walk around talking to people while having ur ding dongs dropping down? Y cant people just cover it up with a towel!!!
So i was taking out my bag from the locker and was sitting on the bench. This dude who has his locker 4-5 feet away from me comes out from the shower naked and has his spring rolls facing me and cleaning his ears... I mean WTF. Howmuch ever i tried not to look, it was just something u can't avoid type of situation. NASTY ... i felt like puking rite there. Nastiest crap is looking at a big fat dude naked, trying to wear his underwear ... OMG ... FUNNY and HORRIBLE!!!!! I felt like removing my lenses and blinding myself rite there!
Y can't they just have a Brokeback section and Straight section in the dressing room. that way all the shameless people will be in one area and all the decent people will be on the other side! This would make things so much more better.

Oh... another awkward moment was when i went back to get my bag from the locker, some dudes just came out of the shower and naturally were wearing nothing, and the song playing in the room was by The Beatles - "I wanna hold ur hand". I got the fuck outta there in record time. YUCK!

Awesome Business Idea

2006-08-07T18:53:00.000-05:00

Are u pissed off about ur life? Are u feeling frustrated by daily work pressures? Are u sick of listenin to ur girl-friend blabbering to you about something u don't give a shit about?
DO U WANT TO TAKE OUT THAT FRUSTRATION....IF YES THEN COME, LETS GO TO 'The Rising Sun Anger Release Bar'.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5251952.stm

A bar in eastern China has come up with a novel way of attracting clients - they are allowed to beat up the staff. Clients can ask the men to dress as the character they wish to attack.
This is what people had to say about it ...
"Pressure in today's society comes from just about anywhere, from family or from work, from your boss or your girlfriend. We get no place to vent anger," said salesman Chen Liang.

"The idea of beating someone decorated as your boss seems attractive."

If you want a handsome ...

2006-07-23T13:32:00.000-05:00

Hilarious song from I think a telegu movie. Hehehe....
It goes like this:
"Dude: If you want a handsome wife/life(cant understand)then shake my hand and walk with me,
Girl: naughty, naughty, naughty
Dude: Sweety Sweety sweety
Girl: If you want a beautiful girlfriend do come here and feel my love,
Dude: Sweety Sweety sweety
Girl: oh naughty, naughty, naughty"

I am convinced that South Indian movie directors are the horniest in the nation!! and how the hell does a dude like tht get to be an actor...

A Letter to the Terrorists from Bombay-ites!

2006-07-12T20:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Terrorist,

Even if you are not reading this we don't care.

Time and again you tried to disturb us and disrupt our life -- killing innocent civilians by planting bombs in trains, buses and cars. You have tried hard to bring death and destruction, cause panic and fear and create communal disharmony. But every time you were unsuccessful.

Do you know how difficult life in Mumbai is? Do you know what it takes for us to earn that single rupee? If you wanted to shock us, then we are sorry to say that you failed miserably. Better look elsewhere.

We are not Hindus and Muslims or Gujaratis and Marathis or Punjabis and Bengalis. Nor do we distinguish ourselves as owners or workers, government employees or private employees.

We are Mumbaikars, or Bombay-ites, if you like. We will not allow you to disrupt our life like this.

On the last few occasions when you struck -- including the many deadly blasts in a single day killing over 250 people and injuring many more in 1993 -- we went to work the next day in full strength.

This time, we were back to normal within a few hours -- the vendors taking their next order, businessmen finalising the next deals and the office workers rushing to catch the next train. Yes, the same train you targeted.

Fathom this: Within three hours of the blasts, long queues of blood donating volunteers were seen outside various hospitals where most of the injured were admitted. The next day, schools and offices functioned. The city has simply moved on, perhaps with greater vigour.

We are Mumbaikars and we live like brothers in times like this. So, do not dare to threaten us with your crackers.

The spirit of Mumbai is too strong for you to handle.

Please forward this to others. Your fellow terrorists in Afghanistan, Pakistan or Iraq can also learn some important lessons from this.

Unflinchingly yours,
The people of Mumbai

http://us.rediff.com/news/2006/jul/12blastreaders.htm?q=np&file=.htm

Rocky Balboa is BACK!!!!

2006-07-10T23:39:00.000-05:00

Skipinder the Punjabi Kangaroo

2006-07-08T10:05:00.000-05:00

Bollywood Poker Finals!

2006-06-27T18:21:00.000-05:00

Simpson's go to Bollywood

2006-06-27T17:47:00.000-05:00

If you don't give my football back, I'm gonna get my dad on you!!

2006-06-26T16:20:00.000-05:00

I love the new 'Impossible is Nothing' Adidas ads for the World Cup.
As a child you always dream of playing with your idols and playing like them and with them. So they made an ad based on that idea.
Very creative and well made.
Nice song in the background too. Eanie Meanie by Jim Noir.
Product: Adidas
Title: Equipo(Part I) and Partido(Part II)
Agency: 180 Amsterdam

Here are the ads:
Part I: Equipo

Part II: Partido

Part III: Behind the Scenes

Imagine you're invisible

2006-05-27T13:57:00.000-05:00

IndiaUncut has brought up interesting question in his blog...

Q: What would you do if you had a foolproof invisible cloak?

If I had the power to become invisible wearing the cloak, I would become my SuperHero Mr.India and

Go and find the person who I think is already wearing an invisible cloak... Mr. Osama Bin Laden and kill him.
Blow up all the terrorist camps across the border.
Carve my face on Mount Rushmore and write below the carving, "This man is Great".
(this is sad but) I would put in ex-captain Sourav Ganguly's name in the Indian Cricket squad and make sure that Kiran More and Chappel can't change the decision

Retirement Options for LeBron James

2006-05-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

Every time i watch a Cleveland Cavs game they keep showin LeBron James biting the shit out of his nails.

He first locates which skin around the nails look good...then he goes for the kill and bites em...takes em out and then chews the crap out of it. He remembers to chew more than 10 times which will help him digest the skin better.
Other times, he shows he doesn’t have nail clippers at home and trims his nails and spits em out.

So honoring his tremendous extra curricular nail biting activity, I found some pics and blog posts where Piston fans have found the best after retirement options for King James.
Enjoy.

Quotes from the movie 'Office Space' that sum up my current life!

2006-03-26T18:27:00.000-06:00

Peter: "Ever since I started working, um, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
Dr. Swanson (Michael McShane): "What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?"
Peter: "Yeah."
Dr. Swanson: "Wow, that's messed up."

(This is basically how I feel 88% of the times during the week)
-------------------

Female Temp: "Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays."

(I just frikkin hate it when anyone at work says that on Monday mornings!!!)
------------------

Michael: "P.C. load letter? What the fuck does that mean?"

(I get a frikkin "P.C. Paper Load" error everytime i wanna print something even when the papertray is fully loaded!!!)
-----------------

Peter: "The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care."
Bob Porter: "Don't-- Don't care?"
Peter: "It's a problem of motivation, alright. Now, if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see a dime. So where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob. I have eight different bosses right now."
Bob Slydell: "I beg your pardon?"
Peter: "Eight bosses."
Bob Slydell: "Eight?"
Peter: "Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight diffenert people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hasseled. That and the fear losing my job. But you know, Bob, that'll only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired."
(For me, it is a problem of motivation to work now!! I work my ass off everyday, and I don't see an extra dime handed to me... I don't see even a small % of appreciation from management and mostly I don't see the respect for my professional demands or wants of particular things from Senior Management.... how can I find some motivation after this!!!)

Amazing Video showing the India Pak Border

2006-02-19T20:08:00.000-06:00

This is a really cool video showing the India-Pakistan Border closing ceremony at Wagah.
This is done every day i guess or once or twice every week and attracts tons and tons of people to cheer their country. Its really cool how both the sides have this coreographed so well and then at the end of the ceremony both the soldiers shake hands and peace out.
Wagah border is definitely one of the places in my list of tourist spots i wanna check out.
Enjoy the video.